It's has always been a struggle for me to exist on this earth for 30 years yet it seems that my purpose is just to survive and not to fully enjoy life where everyone else should be doing. I am writing this blog beside my asleep five month pregnant wife. As a husband it is my responsibility to be a good provider. But right now how in the world I can do that if I still have debt to pay until next year. I know the amount is not yet that high to take my breath to death, but it gives me a negative feeling that I'll be stuck here for a long time and will dig six feet high. In some ways i am feeling hopeless and can't think anything of any solution on how can I help myself. I believe I am not the only person who is thinking this at the very moment in time. Some of them are already making a plan, setting goal, talking to a friend and asking for advice, meditating, using methods to avoid/forget the situation in a short period of time or simply not doing anything. It's up to every person on how will they react on the situation. I have realized that in every decision each person will take there's always two outcome. It might be in a positive one where you will experience joy or happiness and the other one which is what we don't want to hear but peak on it, the failure. I think the main thing after the first result had shown is, what are you going to do next? Will you stop and be content on simple reward or be desperate to get what is planned or promised to you by our Mighty Creator? Some people might say don't push so hard because you might fall high. But what do you think is much better, you tried falling from high altitude then rise double, triple or exponentially higher until there's no room for you to fail?
I am going to be a father soon sometime early next year and our precious gift will be in my arms. When she open her eyes to the world I want her to see me first and tell me Daddy. Gosh I think my tears will fall in my cheeks. It is in my great responsibility to give to my child the life that best's for him/her. As a father my main goal is for my family to be proud of me in all aspects. With this I am ending this blog by promising to myself that I'll do whatever it takes for me not to be trap in a world where the exit is already block unbreakable wall. I'll ready myself to every possibilities or opportunities that will make me grow as a person and be focus to my BIG WHY I exist in this wonderful world.
